Bonds and Beyond…

Undoubtedly, the journey from the vulnerable to the fortified self had not been an undemanding one. Nonetheless, it was possible only because Ashima found friends, almost discovered them, here and there and everywhere by changing, not only her perception but also her perspective towards attachment and association.

The digital clock on her phone screamed nine o’clock! As her thoughts raced to collect all that she had missed in the past couple of hours, Ashima struggled with the obstinate slumber that still slowed her down. Indeed, she was getting reckless by the day. Streaming through series up to the ungodly hours of the night was bound to find someone of her age, fazed and furtive the following day. Living single was liberating after decades of dealing with others but that could barely defend the delinquent demeanor she had displayed lately. Absolving herself too quickly, she put on a feisty mood and went about with her morning ablutions, humming to herself all the while. As the accustomed aroma of the cautiously crafted Darjeeling tea wafted into her nostrils, she settled down to catch up with the sensations that the tv channels had to serve up that hour. Suddenly the unaccounted actions of the morning made sense to her and she realized that no one had returned from her doorstep earlier, a guilt that was gnawing at her for so long.

Ashima remembered that a lockdown was declared and everything was in a sort of limbo for an indecisive stretch of time. Inspired by an invisible inscrutability, she sat down to recalibrate the day or would it be the week, perhaps the month or maybe the whole year! A heaviness weighed her heart down as she was forced to imagine a life without those familiar faces who had become an integral part of her life. Detaching herself from distant and cumbersome relationships, these people fitted into her daily fabric so seamlessly that she had never even admitted to their existence till this very moment. Her early hours would brighten up with the advent of Ganesh, the gardener, who would relentlessly rattle on about the bloom and fall of the various species of flowers and vegetables in her terrace garden. She was amused by his friendship…